Rule #3

There is a reason Airplane Mode exists... And it's not for flying.

It has happened before, 3 am rolls around, your laying in bed with your significant other (or one of your significant others), and the phone starts ringing off the hook. Shit.

“Who’s calling so late?” they respond.

You quickly throw your body in front of the phone, to block the caller ID of course, before hitting the silencer.

“Oh, it’s my crazy drunk friends…ha ha…” slash person I shouldn’t have in my phone, slash the other person I am sleeping with…that’s not you.

Now you have two options at this point, turn the phone off and have your current other wonder why you are being so shady, or two leave your phone on silent, only to have you fall asleep and take the chance of them seeing who, in fact, is lighting up your phone.

Not anymore my friends. Let me explain first of all what this little useful tool is:

Airplane mode is a setting on many cell phones which disables their wireless communication abilities, theoretically making them approved for use on aircraft. While in airplane mode, a phone cannot send or receive phone calls, text messages, picture messages, or video messages, and the user may not browse the Internet on the phone or use Bluetooth devices with it. However, functions like music players, games, calendars, and so forth can continue to be used.

Sadly, I learned this little trick from one of my many slutty male friends, who may I add pulls way more tail then looks would ever tell. Anyway, before he went to bed at night he simply put his phone on airplane mode. Not one call or text could come through all night. In the morning he flipped airplane mode off, and voila! All the drunk dials and skanky texts filtered their way through; thus eliminating his chances of getting caught and reassuring his girlfriend that there are no crazy women chasing after her man.

Am I once again condoning or advocating cheating? Absolutely not. But, fuck! If you are going to do it, be good at it.